The Youth Sexual Behaviour

Sexual purity is one of the remarkable virtues which has received little attention from the society today. The attention given to this virtue sometimes ago is no more recognized. Sexual immorality has become the mainstay of the youth’s behavior.

The question as to whether it is necessary to keep oneself pure sexually has remained under numerous controversies. Majority of the youth do not see the need of keeping themselves pure in terms of sex, this is because of the rate at which free sex is increasing. The youth do not see the need why their sexual emotions should not be put to test. Many young men and women have come to embrace modern principles of living, compromising their sexual purity without a slight consideration. It is very amazing that even the older generation hardly speak about sexual purity.

Christians and their Muslims counterparts as well as traditional folks are torn between contemporary principles and their sacred principles or valued principles; curbing sexual immorality among the youth has become a major challenge to these religious adherents.

Society in general is to be blamed, since it has completely failed to address the issue of immorality among the youth. Thus it has suffered continuous sexual misconducts and abuses in every nook and corner. Sexual injunctions laid down by societies have constantly been defied. This rebellious phenomenon in recent years has expressed itself in rank permissiveness in European and American societies. Today, in Ghanaian societies too, the ancient reticence about sex is being exploded and permissiveness and promiscuous indulgence among the young and old are becoming national moral concern. The seriousness of this among Ghanaian youth is particularly alarming.

There is a poor sexual behavior in the mist of Ghanaian youth of today. This immorality is as a result of numerous factors contributing to very appalling sexual attitude.

In the first place, the youth freely indulge in boy-girl relationships without check. Curiosity is the brain behind most of these relationships. In such relationships, a guy or a lady tries to experiment his or her sexual emotions and satisfies it. Gone are the days they dare to venture into such an arena.

Besides, there is also an idea of dating a guy or a lady for reason which only the two involve can explain. This idea is growing very fast among the educated youth. Most of these ‘datings’ lack proper monitoring and counseling from responsible adults and that the two involve freely follow their emotional instinct to do whatever pleases them. The kind of dating people practice in Ghana, especially in schools and colleges, can only been described as “sex dating”.

Uncontrollable dating which lack maturity and proper monitoring always lands in sexual activities and hence immorality.

Moreover, the watching of sexy films or pornographic videos is also on the ascendancy. Pornographic films and pictures freely circulate on our markets unchecked, directly portrayed by both the print and the electronic media especially the internet and the TV stations. Our contemporary music contains quivers of sexual lyrics and quantum sexual exposure. The youth have taken the opportunity of the current situation of the society to resort to the watching of these films to satisfy their sexual drives. Many of them have ruined their minds for dirty sex, bad public exposures (showing of breast though dressed by most women) and other sexual abuses. Rape and defilement, gross fornication and prostitution are the fruits of this pornographic commercialization.

Masturbation among the youth is also another lasting challenge contributing to sexual immorality among the youth. This act has become the daily activity of most average adolescents found in our secondary schools and colleges as well as universities. Some overdo it and get themselves mad and wild for sex. The result is very unspeakable.

What is particularly lamentable is how the youth freely access family planning for their sexual gain. Family planning in Ghana has no limit or barrier in terms of it use and prescription, that is who are the right people to access it? Though meant for controlling family size, it has rather become the avenue where most of the youth find solution to their sexual exploitation and adventure. Free sex is raiding the youth unabated. Institution seems lying low concerning this trend of youth’s irresponsible behavior.

Teenage pregnancy among the less privileged is very rampant. A number of children who are born out of wedlock due to irresponsible behavior outweigh the legitimate children born to marriage couples. Due to improper upbringing, most of these children end up in the street. Those who have no choice resort to social vices such armed robbery, prostitution, drug dealings and among others. Diseases are raiding many with HIV/AIDS being the deadliest. Life spans of people are shortened these days due to immorality. Our human resources capacity is endangered everyday.

Parents, teachers, traditional rulers, educational administrators, religious leaders and other responsible adults are increasingly getting alarmed and concerned about trends in sexual behavior among the youth. There is indeed an upheaval in male-female relationships and there is a break-up of traditional sexual morality. Sexual indulgence or promiscuity among our girls is getting alarmingly high. Many boys and girls are often found with contraceptives in our schools and colleges including pornographic videos. The wave of sexuality that is engulfing the youth is accompanied by increase in thefts, covetousness, shamelessness, jealousy, pride, selfishness, wickedness, rebellion and violence. Sex seems to be the root of all evils and not money. It can be said without exaggeration that these trends pose a great danger to the future of this country; for as the dictum of Lenin rightly expresses it, “if we wish to destroy a nation, we must first destroy its morals”.

Reprogramming Your Sexual Code Will Boost Your Sex Life

The way we seek to have sexual contact, how often we seek it, whether we seek it at all, who we seek it from says a lot about who we are and how we see ourselves sexually.

Unfortunately for many of us, how we see ourselves sexually comes with a lot of emotional and sexual baggage and problems which start right after birth. Much of Western upbringing does not provide children with sexual training to develop their sex impulses correctly. Many parents in the Western cultures assume that their children are born with no concept of sex or sexuality. There is very little encouragement for children to pay attention to their sexual feelings and touching, caressing and skin contact between adults and children is kept to a minimal. Most parents are alarmed when a child shows sexual tendencies or what is considered “bad habits” and quickly try to break those “bad habits”. They intrude their anxious moralizing into the most intimate biological, emotional and spiritual processes of their children in order to curb possible sources of sexual excitation or masturbatory impulses. Children quickly learn not to touch their sexual parts and end up masturbating in solitude and always feeling a deep shame about it.

Even when children are taught about sex, the “birds and bees” biology format does not permit for sexual inquiry and exploration because adults subconsciously censor sexual vocabularies and reproduced them in disfigured clinical terms. Children learn that they shouldn’t engage in certain sexual behaviours, a few of them know why, but a majority do not know what to do with the sensations they experienced in their bodies moment to moment. As adults most people are not just physically but also sexually clumsy because they do not know the natural way of being sexual in the body. Instead of allowing sexual energy to freely flow through the whole body, they draw it up and out of the body and restrict and confine it above the neck. The rest of the body which is innately sensate, highly energized and spontaneous is frozen up to the point where it begins to shrivel and die. Even sexual language (and tone of voice) reflect this disconnection – dry, shallow, empty, and held back.

This baggage from childhood also manifests itself in fears of rejection; body image concerns and feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness; sexual shyness; sexual timidity; performance anxiety; anger towards the opposite sex etc. Even with relatively good parenting our evolving sexuality causes enormous tensions and stresses that tend to make it difficult to bond with the opposite sex.

Compare this to the African culture in which I was raised in where within weeks after birth, mothers begin the preparation of their children into adolescent and adult sex life. Mothers and grandmothers massage girls’ genitalia during infancy and girlhood. This massage is sometimes accompanied by stretching of the clitoris during the daily bath to elongate them. For boy infants, the foreskin is pulled back and cleaned at bathing and his penis and testicles teased and gently massaged. Mothers do not ignore the child’s heightened level of excitement and mimicking of adult sexual behaviour but instead softly massage the baby’s back, arms, scalp etc until the baby is relaxed and calm. This sexual training continues throughout childhood to adolescence and is completed at the rites of passage to adulthood schooling. Later on when a person engages in sexual relationships he or she is familiar and comfortable with his or her sexual feelings and desires. Healthy sexual development not only provides bliss for the individual, but also a harmonious family and “tribal” life. There is no unhealthy fascination or obsession, and no sexual inhibition, frustration and stress related conditions that most people in Western societies (North American) have.

You may not have received the sexual education you needed in your early years of development but you can reprogram your sexual code and become the mysterious and powerful, engaging, and magnetic sexual being and lover you’ve always wanted to be.

Overturning your deeply-rooted patterns of thought and behaviour involves more than simply seeing the “light” and moving forward in a blissful state of enlightened liberation. It requires a lot of self-reflection, willingness to look at yourself as you are (simmering resentments, emotional wounds, memories of painful humiliations, confusions, fears of inadequacy and rejection), and the courage to change the things you need to change.

Reprogramming your sexual code can change your sex life completely – and forever!